Why do we say “yes” when we mean “no”? When we say that what someone wants is more important than what we want; we give them our power.
(Note for Parents: Our children are very important and… they learn self-valuing by watching us. Striking a balance here is vital which is a topic for a different post…)
When we agree to things that we don’t want we’re doing no-one a service. If it’s not something we want to do, we will likely become resentful over time, or immediately!
You have just as much right to be happy and comfortable as someone else
Maybe you’ve got yourself convinced that someone will be angry with you if you say “No”? Well… they might. Barring seriously dangerous people (which is another scenario all together), why is having someone annoyed or even angry with you such a “big deal”? Anger is, after all, just a feeling. They’ll get over it and so will you.
Disagreements actually give you both an opportunity to learn about yourselves and one another. Heck, you may come up with something that works better for both of you in the end.
By saying “No”, you may actually be doing them a favor.
How does that work? Think about it…
- Your friend, who you must care about if you’re considering doing something you don’t want, must care about you just as much, right?
- If they care about you, they will not want you to betray yourself… but they can’t know if you don’t tell them!
- If they do want you to betray yourself, are they really your friend?
- If they are ruling all of their “friendships” this way, then they are not actually relating to anybody. By giving them the wake up call of “No”, you’re doing them the favor of learning something about themselves. If you continue to say “yes” when you mean “no”, you just perpetuate their illusions… (Read about Co-Dependence here.)
Acknowledging that you have just as much right to be as happy and comfortable as someone else is an important first step.
Where does the Astrology come in?
By saying “No” to what you don’t want, you’re saying “Yes” to what you do!
By Sun Sign below, these are the Solar Energy Super Powers. (Remember, your Sun Sign is where you derive your energy and the below descriptions pertain most strongly to you. It’s certainly possible that you can find yourself in the other signs, and that may be because you have another significant planet in that sign, like the Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, your Ascendant… etc. To find out more, contact me!)
By saying “yes” when you mean “no” you give away your powers and make someone else the keeper of what’s rightfully yours.
Learning from your complement
Each sign has its complementary sign from whom they can learn a lot. Look below to see your Super Power and understand how you can learn from your opposite sign when it comes to serving both people.
ARIES: Your Super Power: Being a Leader/Pioneer. Reclaim Your Power: Lead by compromising harmoniously.
LIBRA: Your Super Power: To Harmonize. Reclaim Your Power: Bring harmony to both of you by defending what you want.
TAURUS: Your Super Power: Standing Your ground. Reclaim Your Power: Stand your ground by revealing your deeper truth.
SCORPIO: Your Super Power: To Reveal the Truth. Reclaim Your Power: Reveal your own deeper truth by standing up for yourself.
GEMINI: Your Super Power: To Spark Ideas. Reclaim Your Power: Spark new answers by honestly connecting to your inner optimism.
SAGITTARIUS: Your Super Power: To Teach. Reclaim Your Power: By exploring more diverse options, teach yourself & others mutual respect.
CANCER: Your Super Power: To Nurture. Reclaim Your Power: Nurture yourself; practice the discipline of saying “No” to what you don’t want and “Yes” to what you do.
CAPRICORN: Your Super Power: To Manage. Reclaim Your Power:When you manage your inner self by saying “yes” to you, you model self-nurturing to others.
LEO: Your Super Power: To Rule Wisely. Reclaim Your Power: Apply that wisdom to yourself: break the rules by humanely including you into decisions.
AQUARIUS: Your Super Power: To Be Objective. Reclaim Your Power: Objectively explore how new approaches bring creative opportunities for everybody.
VIRGO: Your Super Power: To Specialize. Reclaim Your Power: When you specialize in you, you can allow your imagination to guide you to effective alternatives for all.
PISCES: Your Super Power: To Connect. Reclaim Your Power: Conserve your own energy, and allow that all are served when each person has a say… including you!
By saying “No” to what you don’t want, you’re saying “Yes” to what you do!
For More on Solar Energy, check out these posts
Always infinite possibilities… always your choice.
Image credit: smit / 123RF Stock Photo
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