“Success” is a mysterious land for many of us. For some it’s like Shangri-La; a mystical place where everything is beautiful and always just out of reach.
For others, “Success” is a “Twilight Zone”, even more frightening than failure, because it is pregnant with possibilities and potentially dashed expectations.
In either case, our vision of “Success” has become a trap; keeping us where we are.
If we fall into the first camp, where success is Shangri-La, and never where we are; we are caught in the Perfection Trap, of “not good enough”. Nothing we do ever measures up to the “ideal” vision of what we see as successful. Because we tend to be a very either/or culture, either we’re “successful” or… we’re a “failure”…
“Next stop, the Twilight Zone”
In the Twilight Zone camp, we are “comfortable” (not happy, mind you, but familiar) with considering ourselves “failures” on some level. It’s not failure we are afraid of here: “been there, done that”, we think. No, it’s success that terrifies us because we don’t know who we will be if we “go there”.
And we can easily move back and forth between each camp…
Will we arrive on the golden gates of Shangri-La only to find that it’s “not all that”?
However, if we never fully commit, if we wile away our lives in the “if onlys” we will never have to suffer the perceived disappointment of being wrong about who we are. Or so we fear…
We fear stepping into the uncharted territories of ourselves and our “potential”.
Just like “happiness”, “success” is really in the eye of the beholder and our challenge exists between our ears. It’s time for us to take “Success” back from the mythical, and into our daily lives. Can we allow for success to exist on a continuum, with bigger and smaller successes all being valid?
What is it to be successful, really?
[pullquote]Take “Success” back from the mythical and into your Daily Life.[/pullquote]Learning to measure success in this way is actually the key to getting more of what you want, and having more of who you are. By allowing that success does not exist in a single spot, but is rather an evolving destination, it becomes more attainable, and real. The more you have evolved into yourself (remember, this one is really a journey) the greater your successes can become…
Success as an Evolving Destination: The Recipe
- Recognize that you have everything you need right now, to be successful: you’re alive and breathing.
- Know that you are already a success in many ways that you are overlooking because you have defined a “Shangri-La” in your mind. Let that go. Success is many shades, levels, and places… it is all around, and in you, right now.
- Accurately and objectively redefine your current successes, from learning how not to wear a diaper, to graduating the 5th grade, to landing your first job at Wendy’s or mowing lawns… and beyond. Do you have food on the table? Shelter? etc.
- Define broadly some of your objectives. Are there really only single definitions for each? Is a “mansion” your only indication of financial freedom? How about having your hair cut once a month, for starters?
- Create space in your life for success. Schedule self-care, exercise, healthy diet, work/life balance, creative pursuits; allow space for all of yourself to emerge. (Explore some of your Astrology for insights into this…)
- Embrace and have gratitude for all that you already are, and all that you have.
By all means, set your sights on some personal milestones, but recognize that what you have ain’t shabby!