Fog

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Photo: Michael Kenna, Chariot d’Apollon

As I biked to work the other morning, a slow moving fog was rising off the Hudson River, filling the path ahead of me. It was a fog of which London would have been proud. I could see maybe 6 bike lengths ahead of me. A loss of focus, or a drifting off could easily have led to disaster. Pot holes, joggers, people walking dogs, barricades appeared in my path as if by magic.
A family on bikes rode past, the daughter’s shout of, “this is scary!” was swallowed by the mist.
And yet, it was beautiful!
For minutes at a time, it was just me and the fog.
New Jersey was gone, the river, gone… only the gradually, emerging structures (piers, fences, cherry trees covered in blossoms, the boat basin, ducks floating along) appeared, softened, and then just as slowly faded away.
I wanted to stop and take photos but I had to stay present to the fact that I needed to get somewhere… the pictures would have to come as words later on as this post.

What if this personal fog is actually a call by spirit to be present?

As I rode on the fog began to thin and then lifted all together leaving no trace of its passing, only a vibrant clarity of color, light and sound.
What occurred to me in those moments was a new perspective on fog: while you’re in it, you must stay present. Any “drifting off” or loss of focus could get you hurt and potentially killed because things in your path seemingly appear out of no-where.

Fog makes you present.

The irony of this phenomenon struck me: when we are in a “fog” in our lives we feel “out of sorts”, in a dream state.
But what if this personal fog is actually a call by our spirit to be present; to leave behind what is past, and rest assured that what will come will be as it should?
Since the passing of my father last year, and my mother’s current illness, I have often felt myself to be in a fog: unsure of what lies ahead, unable to plan or know what I am to do next, or even what I am to do “right now”. I have been hard on myself for this lack of clarity, for this “fog”… But what if this state is here to force me to look at what’s right in front of me? To be “present” with what “is”? No searching for answers that are yet to come, no dwelling on what is past, because all I can see is what’s right here, right now.
A few days ago I asked the universe for “clarity” on my life, to understand “what’s next” so that I can move forward with some peace and confidence, and what answer do I get?

Fog…

And then vibrant colors and clarity!
The message I’m hearing?
Be present, and grateful for what’s right there in front of you. Know that eventually, the colors will brighten, your surroundings will emerge in sharper focus… the fog will lift. And until then, maybe I should stop and take some pictures?

Always infinite possibilities… always your choice.

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