Could you be saying “No” to Joy?

Written in 2013, updated 12/10/24

This post references a Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio back in 2013, but still may apply to current opportunities for reflection during other Mercury Retrograde cycles.

Many of us live in a very small room in our lives… and I don’t mean a NYC studio apartment! I’m talking about keeping yourself “small”, never getting “too excited”, “too passionate”, “too much”, to avoid feeling disappointed. But how is living an “almost life” a fair trade for never feeling disappointed?

Are you consciously saying “Yes”, but unconsciously saying, “No”?

The Law of Attraction indicates that your life reflects whatever you focus upon the most. Now, consciously, you may be a very optimistic and “positive” person; someone who sees the silver lining, who performs a daily gratitude practice, visualizes all that you are wanting and feeling it is already yours, etc… But somehow the happiness you crave feels out of reach.

The answer goes deeper…

While moving through your day, with all your mindful focus upon “manifesting” more good in your life, do you ever catch yourself saying “no” to things, or worse, to yourself?

This can look like internal mutterings such as: “Damn, I hate it when I miss the bus!” or “I hate that my printer is jammed!” or “Why are people so rude? It makes me so mad!” or “I can’t believe I did that! I’m so stupid!” or “No one ever appreciates me…” or “Nothing good ever happens for me…”

We believe this negative voice is who we really are, but it’s just learned behavior.

Believe it or not, this negative babble is saying “No” to the Universe and is undermining all your positive intentions. Why? Because, this can be an underlying, 24/7 drone in your inner ear. By the “Law” (LoA) it carries way more weight than the “good stuff” you’re visualizing for 10 minutes.

I know something about this…

A few years back, I was facing this very same challenge. I had read Debbie Ford’s, transformational book, The Secret of the Shadow where she refers to this negative voice as the “shadowbox”. She discusses how if this were a radio station blaring negative babble, we’d turn it off! I realized, that I was doing this all the time and it took my breath away. I suddenly felt so bad that I had been so mean to me!

So why don’t we turn it off? Because we don’t recognize it as a choice. We believe this negative voice is who we really are, but it’s just learned behavior.

We’re going a little cosmic over here… but bear with me.

Who are “You”?

This may seem a “silly question”, but go deeper. Can you observe that negative voice I’ve been talking about? “You” are the “Observer“, witnessing your behavior. If you can observe something within yourself, it is not “you” but rather an “aspect of you” over which you have control. This true Observer, can be reached through meditation and mindfulness.

The Buddhists call this nattering inner voice the “monkey brain”: it is our undisciplined mind, and when we don’t learn to make different choices, it runs our lives. Chances are excellent that if you’re not actively putting a stop to it, it’s got you by the… knees.

So, what are you going to do about it?

During this current Mercury Retrograde cycle is a great time for this type of contemplation. Recognize how this inner-critic is affecting the quality of your life and take solid steps to be good to yourself, now and especially after November 10th.

Your life reflects whatever you focus upon the most.

• Start watching for when it shows up. What’s happening in your life? Are you getting close to success? Have you been around negative people? Spending too much time alone? What are your triggers?
• Cut it out! In the words of the Michael Teachings via “Troy”:
  • “If you are questioning your value, your meaning, your worth: stop it… If you exist, your worth is not in question.”
  • I mean this literally. Every time you go into a negative spiral, I want you to “shush” yourself, and shift to something positive: something about yourself, or in your life, that you love. Moreover, do not judge yourself for being mean to yourself! This is merely a habit of thought that you can change in every moment.
• Understand what you’re saying “No” to and say “Yes” to the opposite. If your negative self talk is about, say, eating a candy bar when you’re wanting to reduce, rather than give yourself a hard time:
  • Forgive yourself. It is not a hanging offense. Focusing on the “digression,” only ensures more of the same: not honoring your wishes by eating poorly. Besides, as Oscar Wilde said:
    

    “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

  • Promise yourself you will have an apple next time, then do it.
  • Say “Yes” to what you’re moving towards: good health and honoring yourself.

This way, by stopping the negative babble, you’re saying “Yes!” to life & joy. The more you can say “Yes”, from this deeper place, the more causes for gratitude will show up.

Because face it, you’ve already got it going on!

Always infinite possibilities… always your choice.

For more on this Mercury Retrograde cycle, see this: Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio: Explorations into the Quality of Our Lives

Image credits:Hanson-Roberts, Tarot Deck, Four of Cups © U.S. Games Systems, Inc.
“Absolem” from Alice in Wonderland