So, What’s Your Story?

What do I mean by that, eh?

Your Story is what you tell yourself, and the world, about why you can’t get where you want to be in life.

I sound harsh, don’t I? But let me reassure you, it is because of the deep respect I feel for all that you have experienced and come through in this life that I am saying this to you. What I want to move towards is helping you to step into the person you can become, so bear with me.

I know this can be a challenging idea. We have all had experiences that stop us dead in our tracks, experiences that were: overwhelming, tragic, debilitating, and heart breaking. Some of these things that happen in our lives feel like things we can never get over, never get out from underneath, and sometimes we need a psychotherapist to begin to heal them. (I know people, if you feel this last pertains to you).

The truth of it is, most of what happens to us will always be with us, in some form or another.

Chances are that whatever happened to you has already affected your life for some period of time; the experience, whatever it was, has left its indelible mark upon you… but has it also become who you are? I want all of us to be in conscious choice about this: Are we choosing to sacrifice the rest of our lives to these Stories?

Consider one possible collection of Stories (and please forgive me if I happen to use one of yours as an example):

• The Ethnic Story
• The Gender Story
• The Sexual Preference Story
• The Addiction Story
• The Abused Child Story
• The Under-Educated Story
• The Physically Challenged Story…

I can feel the hackles rising, the faces getting flushed… and I know that much of the anger you may be feeling towards me right now is coming from your indignant Saboteur*. Remember what I wrote in my last essay? It is the purpose of the Saboteur to keep us “safely” within his comfort zone, and it’s his Stories that keep us safely therein.

I want you to think on the following for a few moments (remember, I am addressing You not your Saboteur):

1. Has every person, that has experienced a similar Story to yours, found himself or herself unable to improve upon their life?
2. Are there people with greater challenges than yours living fulfilling lives?
3. Is it possible that what is keeping you trapped is actually your fear of change rather than whatever Story you are brandishing as a foil?

Stepping out of our Story, and thereby out of our comfort zone, is terrifying. Let me say that again so that you know that I know this truth. Stepping out of our Story is terrifying. Who are we if not our Stories? I’ll tell you.

We are the powerful survivors of our Stories, that is who we are.

I want you to recognize how courageous you have been to come through these experiences relatively unscathed. You are a powerful being to be on this side of that experience, looking back upon whatever it was that happened with the strength to sit here and read these words.

I want you to breathe that in.

You are a powerful being. You made it! You are here to tell the tale!

Now… don’t you want to find out who you can “be” in the world? Isn’t it time to let go of that Story and step into your magnificence? You have earned this place of personal power; you have come through the fire.

Isn’t it time to claim the life that belongs only to you?

Remember always… it’s your choice.

*For more on the Saboteur, see other essays: “Are you ready to send your Saboteur packing?” and “Breathe in Your Life“.

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