When I was a kid my Dad would play this game with me. He would hold one hand out in front and make as if he was going to tickle me. Then, with the other hand, he’d move in for the kill and get me every time. I’d be reduced to paroxysms of laughter… I am extremely ticklish. 😀
Now, I knew what he was up to, and yet he almost always got me. Somehow, this became a metaphor for my family. Like the Wizard said, “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!” it was easier to pay attention to what was in front, losing sight of the reality behind it.
We all do this everyday. We distract ourselves with something, while off in the corner of our eye, what we really need is being ignored. Why? Because “need” has become a four-letter word; something we dare not admit even to ourselves.
[pullquote]Where in your life are you creating a distraction? What real “need” is being ignored?[/pullquote]
How “need” got to be a 4-letter word.
What does it mean to “need” something? For most of the people I talk to, “need” means you’re “needy”, “dependent”, “cloying”, “annoying”… If you need something, that means you’re not “complete”, and if you’re not “complete” then you’re “broken”, “vulnerable” and ultimately “alone”. (Wow, can’t have any needs in that scenario!)
We get such mixed messages from the media: they insist we “need” all kinds of superficial things (cars, booze, scantily clad models, to be thinner…), while simultaneously, we get the message that to need anything real (communication, a hug, connection, authenticity, creativity) makes us “needy”. The truth is we have become completely disconnected from what we actually need; collectively, we haven’t got a clue. Hence the cultural machine throws all kinds of stuff our way, trying to fill the gaping holes in our hearts.
[pullquote]Wouldn’t it be easier to concentrate on getting our needs met in the first place?[/pullquote]Consider this common exchange.
Fred is going out to get something.
He says to Sally, “Hey, you need anything?”
And Sally says, “Nope, I’m good.”
Simple right? Go a little deeper. What if Sally actually does need something? Does that make her “bad”? Hmmm…
In order to deny our “neediness” we invent a persona, a Super Human who is able to deny all needs in order to maintain a façade of invulnerability. And what do we get? Well, frankly, we get sick. Sometimes we get sick and die. Talk about vulnerability!
How many of you recognize the following syndrome in your lives: You work like mad, deny any personal needs (nutrition, exercise, time off, down-time with your honey, family, friends) and then “Wham!” you’ve got a cold, or worse? Now you’re knocked flat and maybe “deserve” to be needy? Being sick may be the only time in our culture that we get to be a little “needy”, and even then, many of us will ignore it until it really can’t be ignored any more…
Getting our needs met.
Here’s my question: wouldn’t it be easier (and maybe cheaper?) to concentrate on getting our needs met in the first place?
But, most of us don’t have a clue about what we actually, really, deep-down “need”! If you don’t know what you need then isn’t it time to find out? We can get some great clues through exploring your Moon Sign.
Let’s use me as an example here:
I’ve got an Aries Moon and if you look at the chart, it says that my main lunar need is to “Be Significant & Important. Be #1.”… “ICK!” my inner, altruistic critic cries, “What kind of a coach would that make me?” (Well… a human one, for starters! 😉 ) Does that mean I have to be constantly comparing myself to others? Inherently competitive? In a way… it does. But in another way, no.
[pullquote]There is the intentional manifestation of your Lunar Needs, and then there’s the unintentional one. [/pullquote]Just like most of us, I want to be liked (Hey, I am also a Libra Sun, go figure). But is it reasonable for me to expect to be #1 with everybody? Clearly not… but the need is still there. If I go into denial about it and disown it entirely (talk about being “needy” right?), I will become unconsciously competitive with everyone and they will throw it back at me by being competitive too! Because I’m in denial, I won’t have a clue about why I meet so many competitive people… clearly it’s not something I’m doing… right?
Working with “the Beast”.
So, what about the intentional, conscious manifestation of this need? How do I work with this potential “beast”?
When I deny what I need internally, disrespecting it and myself, I will seek to have the need to “Be #1” met by the world. It is when I allow myself to “Be #1” in my own heart, by taking care of myself, acknowledging my needs & fulfilling them, that I can step away from the beast, and be of service. It’s got to start with me and you. Remember the airplane metaphor? “Put your own mask on first” or you’re no darned good to anybody!
From this perspective on Lunar Needs, take a closer look at the chart. How you can start meeting this need internally? Consider making a daily practice to acknowledge this need and how you can fulfill it for yourself daily. (Don’t know your Moon Sign? Find it here.)
Taurus Moon: How are you preserving security for yourself?
Gemini Moon: How are you being informed in your life; recognizing and utilizing your intelligence?
Cancer Moon: Where do you provide your own emotional security?
Leo Moon: Where are you respecting and honoring yourself?
Virgo Moon: How do you give yourself the gift of your ability to be insightful & exact?
Scorpio Moon: Where can you take up the reins in your life and trust yourself?
Sagittarius Moon: How are you disrespecting your own ideas and when will you stop?
Capricorn Moon: How do you acknowledge & administrate your own progress in life?
Aquarius Moon: When will you begin to acknowledge the wonder of your own uniqueness?
Pisces Moon: Is it time to create a practice that brings you into relationship with the intangible?
We can never heal this society if we continue to pretend we don’t have needs! It’s got to start with you!
Always infinite possibilities, always your choice…
Music Credit:“I Am a Rock”, Copyright ©1965 by Simon & Garfunkel.